Various Regional Observations

Just a few observations about my new home: the hometown diner, the awful traffic solution/problem, and the elephant in the road, uh I mean room.

#1: Coney Islands

Though you wouldn't guess it from the name, a Coney Island is generally a Detroit coffeeshop (haven't seen any in Ann Arbor, but correct me if I'm wrong) that serves regular Denny's-type fare, hot dogs (which I guess you would expect), and some pretty good Greek and/or Mediterranean food (which you wouldn't expect if you don't live in Detroit, but makes sense if you do). I don't have much to say about Coneys, except that they are everywhere, possibly more everywhere than a Waffle House in Georgia is everywhere (this is because Coneys come in buildings of all shapes and sizes, with different peoples names on them-and you are never more than a stone's throw from a Coney). Another thing worth saying about Coneys is that most people seem to have a devout love for one or two. Another thing is that Patti Smith had her wedding reception at Lafayette Coney Island. And the last thing is that Coneys are way better than greasy spoons like Denny's (ugh)and IHOP (ick), and are one of those Detroit quirks that, like many things Detroit, you have to go to appreciate and know.

#2: The Michigan Left

The Michigan Left is the pernicious work of a traffic expert in need of some advice from this Dilettante. If I could get the ear of whoever invented the Michigan Left, I would indeed give him/her an earful. For those who don't know what I am talking about, here is the concept, gathered from rumor, myth passed down, and my own conjecture: It is ostensibly safer and more convenient to not turn left on the street you want to turn left on and instead either a) continue straight through an intersection, make a U-turn, and then take a Right onto the street you just passed, or b) take a Right where you want to take a Left, and then make a U-turn and then continue through the intersection. I have to make a Michigan Left every time I want to go west on the 96 freeway, which would be okay, I guess, except for the fact that there are speeding cars exiting the freeway only 30 yards from where I peer to my right to see if it's safe to make my U-turn. So I usually end up pulling in front of a car exiting at 60 mph, in order to end my wait in a long and impatient queue gathered on a bridge over the freeway (said queue possibly in fear of the infrastructural security of said bridge, given road conditions in Michigan--see #3).

In another scenario, I am cruising along in the left lane of traffic on a major road, when all of a sudden, the car in front of me comes to a dead stop, because the driver of the car needs to make a U-turn, in order to take a left (actually, now a right) at the intersection we have already passed through! Sigh....I prefer the practical Pittsburgh Left to the Michigan Left. The Pittsburgh Left is the practice of the first person in the left-turn-lane line turning at the moment the yield-left light turns green (those brave Pittsburghers correctly presuming that the oncoming traffic will not beat them if they move fast, thereby keeping traffic flowing, not doing a bit of harm, and getting where they're going a minute sooner).

#3: Michigan Roads

Like many other parent-expatriates (not expatriates that are also parents, but people expatriated from the geographical region of their own parents), I receive mail from both Mom and Dad (not married) that recounts various bits of news to me. Sometimes it is funny, sometimes it is advice, sometimes it is an update on friends or family, and it is always touching and much appreciated by this Dilettante, who misses her family. So recently I received from Mom a Parade Magazine article listing the worst roads in America. There were several towns listed (for example, Gatlinburg TN, West Orange TX) and then "any road in Michigan." Not "Detroit MI" or "Flint MI," but any road in Michigan. And I wholeheartedly agree. Another thing you have to go to really know, though that one I'd like to keep under wraps.